To School, or Not to School? Our Wonderful Trip to Crazy Town

******This post was originally written in November of 2013 on my other blog*****

It's 3:07 p.m.  I have one nerve left, and it's ready to go on strike. Is it too early for a glass of wine? Sometimes homeschooling feels like a path to Crazy Town.

My son is such a great kid.  The thing is, he gives me a run for my money.  One may think it's because he asks me really tough questions.  Actually, that's not it.  I'm fine with saying "I don't know, let's look it up."  What's sometimes tiring is that he never stops talking, and, well, you know those books about highly sensitive kids?  He's one of those.  A wonderful, sweet, caring, smart, analytical, worried, obsessive one of those.  Also, he could easily be classified as ADHD, if we were to go that route.

Last year I attended numerous bitch sessions (otherwise known as IEP meetings) at my son's school, which fueled the decision to home school him this year.  Yes, we were aware that he did not want to sit "Criss-Cross Applesauce" or do 37 math worksheets each day, nor would he finish the unfinished worksheets around the kitchen table later on, unless we wanted to experience 2 hours of tears and scolding and stress each evening. Finally, no, we were not going to slap an ADHD label on him and drug him up so that he would be easier for everyone to manage.

Other fuel for the fire consisted of my two years of experience as a public school elementary teacher, where I discovered that most teachers feel like they are not given the trust to teach.  They pretty much have their hands tied as far as being able to teach creatively and effectively, and the kid/teacher ratio combined with student's unique personalities was a recipe for educational hell for any child with a strong will to learn at their own pace.

We were going to move anyway, so we decided that upon moving from MN to TX in the fall, there would be no more school hell for our son.  We would home school, and we would keep our eyes open for an alternative school that may be a good fit for our son.

I am still trying to figure out how I should approach homeschooling my son.  I have not purchased any curriculum, because I have a pretty solid grasp on what to do in order to teach the standards to a second grader.  I also don't want to be too "teachery" with him, because he closes up and reverts to rebellious behavior.  Why force information into his brain, when he isn't ready to put it there?  It likely won't stick. I'm caught between worrying about grade level learning and natural learning.

What I mean is:

Why is it that a kid turns 5 and suddenly we want to place all of these expectations on his or her shoulders and trade fun, natural, curiosity-fueled learning for rigid, programmed, pigeonholed learning?  What if he wants to read Curious George books and watch Stephen Hawking videos, and learn math when the subject comes up?  If he decides to be a rocket scientist, won't that desire be strong enough to take it upon himself to learn physics and calculus?

On the other hand........

We sometimes feel a little panicky.  We live in a society that seems to be enslaved to this force-feeding style of teaching.  What if our situation changes and requires us to put our son back into public school, and he is "behind" in math and still doesn't want to write a book recommendation?  Also, though I am ashamed to admit it, I hate the thought of friends and family quizzing him on whatever subject matter they think a 7-year-old should know about, and him answering, "Um.....".

For Now:

I am happy that my son is not crying everyday.  I am relieved that no longer asks, "So, we have to sit in school for years and years and then go to a job that we hate?  That's life??"  I am overjoyed that we can  go the library or museum or theatre or zoo as many times as we want to, and that we can talk about why leaves turn color and why seasons have distinct smells, and watch National Geographic documentaries at 10:00 a.m.  I love that he can go to the bathroom or drink water when he needs to.

I love that I get to be with my son, and that we can learn together.  For now, that's more than good enough.  :)

¡Que te Mueve!

*******Another post originally written back in October of 2013********

Twelve hours have now passed since I did my second Zumba workout within as many consecutive days, and there is not enough Aspercreme in all of Texas to relieve the pain in my calves and thighs.

On the bright side, I slept the whole night through last night and woke up feeling rested for the first time in quite a few months.  Also, I feel cheerier.  Almost sprightly!  Okay, not sprightly.  Not yet, anyway.  But chipper.  Yes, chipper is a good word to describe my mood both today and yesterday, after having dripped about two gallons of sweat and negative energy from my bad ass self.

It's all part of the master plan.  The release of the slim, sexy lady.  She's hiding within me and she has been dying to get out.  She WILL come out, and soon.  And Zumba is going to play a huge role in executing this plan.

I wonder if yesterday's instructor used to be heavy, and released her inner sexy lady after getting healthy with Zumba?  My, my.  That woman was gyrating, shaking and twerking all over that studio's stage.  For a moment I thought I'd gone into the pole dancing class by mistake!  I expected Miley to come prancing in to join the class at any moment.  All joking aside, she was very energetic and a great instructor.  I liked her class because I could follow most of what she was doing and she didn't change things up every 5 seconds.

I was proud of myself yesterday, after having earned a thumbs up from the instructor for my salsa moves.  I credit this success to living room Zumba workouts, where Beto and the gang taught me the basics without any pressure or glances of disapproval if I slacked at times, or collapsed on the couch.  Yes, after yesterday's class I was feelin' pretty proud of myself.

Then today happened.

Different teacher.  She played awesome Latin music and displayed a wonderful, laid back attitude.  But every two steps was something different!  There were like 47 new steps in each 5-minute song, for pete's sake!  I imagined myself to be performing like Ethel and Lucy might in a ballet recital. Sometime around the 40 minute mark I began to feel a little pissed.  Where was that confidence from yesterday?!

But then I looked around at the dear ones in the studio, and was put at ease.  They weren't perfect, yet they were smiling, having a great time, and giving it their all.  A few of them sent some of those smiles my way.

I'll be going back tomorrow.

La Cucaracha

******This post is from October 2013, taken from my other blog "Melo Out With Me" and pasted here******

Turns out there are cockroaches the size of my head in here in Texas.  Okay, maybe not that big, but a couple of hours ago I'd have sworn otherwise.  Does anyone remember those Presidents Tests for gym class back in the 80's?  If there was a test for high jumping I'd have passed it and set a record, for the way I reacted tonight when confronted with the biggest friggin' cockroach this Minnesota native has ever seen.  In the bathroom of our master bedroom, no less.

I lose out on the Mom of the Year Award tonight for having made my son cry with my screams.  Hopefully the therapy won't cost him too much when that memory catches up with him 15 years from now.

It's karma.  Last night I was feeling really cocky (no wordgamey-punny thing intended) when we got home from our homeschooling meet up, where we met at a park and learned about spiders and scorpions, and then went and actually sought them out on an evening (dark) hike in the park.  It turns out there's this neat little trick where you can use a flashlight to see the gazillion pairs of spider eyes looking back at you as you stroll through the peaceful park under the moonlit sky.  Someone found a scorpion with their black light and I boldly got within 2 feet of the creature as it crawled around on the expert's (aka crazily brave bug guy's) hand.  I went home feeling like I could do this thing.  Texas bugs weren't gonna get the best of me!

Twenty-four hours later I was a quivering, blubbering, freaked out mess.  In front of my 7-year-old son.

Dropping my husband off earlier at the truck yard for another OTR trip did not help my anxiety.  Nor the fact that today was the first day that I felt truly homesick.  But we've been planning this move for years, and we've finally made the dream a reality.

We can check off the biggest box; we've snuck out of MN just before the cold winter hits and we've made it to balmy Texas.  Eventually we'll buy that piece of land in that "just right" spot and start building our adobe eco-efficient home, grow our own vegetables, and live in harmony with the earth - bugs, snakes, and all.

In the meantime, I'm going to be honest and say that I can't help but calm my nerves with wine, google the deadliest, most chemically laden poisons to rid this house of cockroaches, and sleep on the couch tonight.  Maybe I should try hypnosis.  I have seen quite a few metaphysical places here in San Antonio that have been beckoning to me to stop in.

Envisioning my Vision Board

A few years back, when The Secret was all the craze, I made a vision board.  I really enjoyed making it, because it really did get me to focus on my goals and desires.  I would use it quite frequently.  I always felt happy after focusing on those goals during a meditation or even just daydreaming.

I had a lot of stuff on that vision board.  One was a van, and that one came to fruition.  I was pretty pumped about it.

My son was a lot smaller at the time and I was working a full-time job on top of being a mom.  We were going through some really tough times with losing our home.  You can read all about that in my earlier posts.

Anyway, I kept up with studying about the Law of Attraction and I have had some really sweet things come into my life because of it. I'll have to post about that soon.  You'd be amazed at some of my stories.

But I sort of lost track of my vision board.  It got put into some boxes and now, 3 moves later, I'm not even sure if I have it anymore.

I may just make a new one, rather than search like mad for the other one.

After all, goals and dreams do change sometimes.

It's a cool, rainy Sunday today.  Perfect day to work on a vision board.

Maybe you could do one too?

Living in Almost Mexico

I started this blog a few years ago, and there have been times when I have felt like I should delete it because our lives have taken such a different turn than what we'd planned back when I started recording our journey.

I've changed my mind.  Hey, that's my prerogative, right?

If there is anything that has stood out to me in the past few years as a lesson to be learned, it is that life is a journey, and it is as much an adventure as you are willing to make it be.

So, although we are not living in Mexico, we have still been brave.

1. We have stepped out of our comfort zone, gotten rid of more than half our possessions, and moved across the country, to Texas.

2. We are homeschooling our son, which has had its ups and downs, but has been a great decision all in all.

3. We are studying up on permaculture and sustainable living, so that when we finally purchase our land we can build our adobe home and live as much in harmony with our environment as possible.

4. I am beginning to focus more on my writing, which means you will begin to see more and more entries here.

5. We are spiritually open to living full and meaningful lives, no matter how much money is in our pockets.

We are open to other adventures.

We are learning that the possibilities are endless.

I hope you will continue to join me here.

Hello?! Is anybody in there?

Forgive me readers, for I have slacked (BIG TIME).  It has been 2 years and almost 3 months since my last confession, er....I mean, blog entry.

There was a crisis, of the mid-life variety, to be had.  Since I started this blog until now, there have been arguments, tears, revelations, months of excessive wine consumption, the trying on of several career hats, the purging of excess material items and the moving of what was left, the loss of a private yard and the gain of an apartment courtyard, drama with family, and drama with schools (both my son's and mine - by the way, I was an elementary teacher for two years between the last post and this one).

I am awake now.  WE, as a family, are awake now.  We're wasting no more time.  We're setting out on an amazing new adventure.

We've learned so much along this journey during the past few years. Writing about all of our growing pains in one blog post would be ridiculous.  I mean, yes, I'm a Leo, but I learned long ago that my problems don't need to become everyone else's, and in that spirit I want to refrain from treating this blog as a place to bitch and wine (or whine), lest I bore you to tears and beyond.

Therefore, I've created a list, and a "blog plan."

The LIST consists of things we've learned and decisions we've made, and I've numbered it, so as to appeal to other list maker types and to give myself the appearance of being an organized person.

1.  We want to do all we can to avoid having a mortgage, ever again.  Therefore, we will build our own eco-friendly, adobe home,  with our very own, 40-something-year-old bare hands.  We may enlist in the help of friends and do-gooders when the time comes.

2.  We are no longer moving to Mexico, for a few reasons that I don't care to expand on at this time.

3.  We are moving to Almost Mexico.  In ONE WEEK we will be driving a trailer to San Antonio, TX, where we will be housesitting for a short time (1-3 months).

4.  I am homeschooling our son.  I could write volumes about the reasons for this, but I'll skip the fury fed typing for now.

5.  We are ready to be the people that we are meant to be.  We are ready to actually live our lives the way that we want to live them and not care about American Dreams and peoples' judgements and scrutiny.  We hope we can help others to wake up and pay more attention to what's going on inside their hearts and heads and less to what's happening in Hollywood and Washington DC.

BLOG PLAN:  I'm going to change it up to include a wide spectrum of topics.  I'll give more news on this and will provide a link when the ducks are quacking in a row.  :)

What a ride this life is turning out to be!

From Here to There and THEN to There

Aaaaand, exhale.  

The last 6 weeks have been a whirlwind with a new job, a new daycare for our son, and now..............the ax is coming down.  After almost a year of waiting and wondering when the final countdown would begin, we got the letter in the mail.

Our mortgage company has restarted  the foreclosure process, according to the letter from the lawyers. 

Last fall after filing for bankruptcy I flailed my arms for a bit, in a vain but valiant attempt to regain the bank's trust and redeem our mortgage.  After awhile I lost my steam and we began to look at this whole experience as a learning one, and one that would give us the push we need to finally leave this tundra we know as Minnesota. 

We are tired of living half a year, every year.  What I mean is, we feel dead every year when the snow is here and the temp is low and we're enclosed in our house like animals in a zoo.  We are not winter people.  I used to be, as a child.  Now? Um....not so much.

We haven't made our final decision on location, but it looks like sometime next spring or early summer we will be headed toward warmer climates, most likely in the Southwest. 

Mexico is not out of the picture by any means.  It is still what we consider to be our ultimate goal.  But we have decided that we don't want to land there with empty pockets.  So, for now, we will go to "Almost Mexico."

Maybe I should change the name of this blog.  Or maybe "From Here to There" is just going to have an extra detour along the way. 

We're excited.  Never thought a foreclosure letter would make me smile, or give us such inspiration. 

It's all in the way you look at it.