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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Mac 'n Cheese and a Midlife Crisis

This morning I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, playing around online, and thinking.  Always thinking.  My brain never seems to shut off these days.  I wonder about stuff like our moving to Mexico, the fragility of life, and whether we'll see anything amazing happen on December 21, 2012.  Then my mind drifts to thoughts like, "I wonder if they have Weight Watchers in Mexico?" and my son's question from this morning, "Do butterflies eat macaroni and cheese?" and the realization that tomorrow (after much trepidation on my part) my son is going to take the bus to school for the first time.  My baby!! 

But my big question of the day is, why is it that sometimes what we've been begging and praying for is finally offered to us after the fact?  What I mean is this:  A year ago I finally left my job with an airline (customer service stuporvisor, er, I mean, supervisor) where I'd worked for close to 12 years.  I feel guilty just typing it, given the fact that our economic situation is horrendous.  But I couldn't deal with that place ANYMORE.  For years I'd wanted to escape from the prison I called my job.  By the time I got around to actually leaving I was having chest pains and panic attacks as a result of the stress from that job and from playing "two passing ships in the night" with Mr. Husband.  It was time to change my life.  I made a go of being a freelance medical Spanish interpreter.  It went well at times, but there were too many peaks and valleys and unpredictable hours for me to continue.  We couldn't afford to pay for my son's preschool.  I applied for jobs all over the place, to no avail.  The week that we pulled my son from the preschool that we adored, I got several calls to interpret.  AAAAAGH!!!  Why???  Why couldn't they have been calling me sooner?? 

Often times I think, "Why couldn't I have just held out in that airline job until our son went to kindergarten?"  Then we probably wouldn't have slipped into financial ruin and I could have found something to do during school  hours.  But that's not how it went.  Plus, who's to say that I wouldn't have ended up in the hospital if I'd stayed with the airline?  Who knows if I'd even be alive today if I wouldn't have left there?  Okay, now I'm being dramatic.  But you never know!

Instead, what's been happening this week is this:  For the past few months I have been tutoring people in Spanish.  It's a lot of fun, but I only do it a few hours a week.  Last week I decided to put a new ad out, and I have received 3 responses already!  THEN, last night at a session with one of my students, who happens to be an ex-mechanic at the same airline where I worked, and who now owns his own business, presented an idea to me.  How about if I offer a Spanish class, and he'd "hire me" and just make it part of his business and we could advertise and see what kind of interest is out there?  I'm really excited about this.  It could be another wonderful way to save up money for our eventual move.  Also, when my son goes to kindergarten next fall I would be more available to interpret or to get another job. 

I feel like things are coming together.  Throughout the hardships over the past few years, I have made friends, mended some relationships, gotten to the root of some big issues, and learned a lot of life lessons.  I am gaining confidence and momentum, and I feel like goodness is going to shower down upon me and my family.  If we stay true to our dreams and God-given gifts and put Love first, doors open.  Maybe not right away and not the way we expect them to, but they open.

Thanks for reading.  Spread some Love today.


  1. Hang in there Lorraine. Everything is going to work out, you'll see. Mexico is a good place to be. I send you a big hug!

  2. That's sweet. Thank you Jackie! It sure has been fun starting to make friends in Mexico before going to Mexico! :)