******This post is from October 2013, taken from my other blog "Melo Out With Me" and pasted here******
Turns out there are cockroaches the size of my head in here in Texas. Okay, maybe not that big, but a couple of hours ago I'd have sworn otherwise. Does anyone remember those Presidents Tests for gym class back in the 80's? If there was a test for high jumping I'd have passed it and set a record, for the way I reacted tonight when confronted with the biggest friggin' cockroach this Minnesota native has ever seen. In the bathroom of our master bedroom, no less.
I lose out on the Mom of the Year Award tonight for having made my son cry with my screams. Hopefully the therapy won't cost him too much when that memory catches up with him 15 years from now.
It's karma. Last night I was feeling really cocky (no wordgamey-punny thing intended) when we got home from our homeschooling meet up, where we met at a park and learned about spiders and scorpions, and then went and actually sought them out on an evening (dark) hike in the park. It turns out there's this neat little trick where you can use a flashlight to see the gazillion pairs of spider eyes looking back at you as you stroll through the peaceful park under the moonlit sky. Someone found a scorpion with their black light and I boldly got within 2 feet of the creature as it crawled around on the expert's (aka crazily brave bug guy's) hand. I went home feeling like I could do this thing. Texas bugs weren't gonna get the best of me!
Twenty-four hours later I was a quivering, blubbering, freaked out mess. In front of my 7-year-old son.
Dropping my husband off earlier at the truck yard for another OTR trip did not help my anxiety. Nor the fact that today was the first day that I felt truly homesick. But we've been planning this move for years, and we've finally made the dream a reality.
We can check off the biggest box; we've snuck out of MN just before the cold winter hits and we've made it to balmy Texas. Eventually we'll buy that piece of land in that "just right" spot and start building our adobe eco-efficient home, grow our own vegetables, and live in harmony with the earth - bugs, snakes, and all.
In the meantime, I'm going to be honest and say that I can't help but calm my nerves with wine, google the deadliest, most chemically laden poisons to rid this house of cockroaches, and sleep on the couch tonight. Maybe I should try hypnosis. I have seen quite a few metaphysical places here in San Antonio that have been beckoning to me to stop in.